May 31, 1980 - Saturday

"She is the girl of his dreams,
He wants her, he thinks, forget it,
He's got a pain in his heart, he feels like cryin',
So lonesome for love, he feels like dyin',
But don't stop the dream,
He can fix it, I know he can,
Everything works if you let it,
He'd love to look inside her heart,
And see if she agrees,
He's good, he's great at the work that he does,
And there's magic in the air,
Good time, bad times, don't know what to do,
Half the time and all the time, don't know if it's true,
Someday, somewhere, he'll know if it's true,
She'll look inside her heart and then decide it's really you,
Everything works if you let it in your heart."
Cheap Trick "Everything Works If You Let It"

"Six is having problems adjusting to his clone status,
All day long, you hear him crying so loud,
I just wanna be myself, I just wanna be myself."
Alice Cooper "Clones (We're All)"

Yes, I do want to be myself again. Not a clone that walks around like a zombie. This has been a pretty tough time for me-it still is. I haven't met her yet, but hopefully, tonight's the night. After I saw her Wednesday, Thursday was the pitts. After the game Thursday, Sandy and Elliot wanted to go to the Atlantic. I wanted to leave, but they wanted to stay, so they walked back to Sandy's house. That was an awful night.
Yesterday was not so bad. My spirits were a little higher, but life was still rotten. Which brings me to "Everything Works If You Let It". That's my new message. I'm going to snap out of it and become a totally new person. I'll even call her on the phone if I have to. I have this funny feeling, though, she's going to be at 5:30 mass tonight. I had this strange dream last night. For a hymn, Fr. Shovelton was leading the church in The A's "C.I.A." Sue's parents were sitting in front of me. I never saw their faces, and they left early. I was fighting with Scott the whole time. Could that be a sign that things will go wrong? Usually my dreams work oppositely, so it means things will happen. If she turns me down, I won't die. I don't usually care what people think of me-why should I now?

Wrong, wrong, wrong. There's nothing I care about more than what people think of me. I can't even imagine why I would have said that. It makes me laugh that I express myself through totally inappropriate song lyrics. It's no different that what kids (and some supposed adults) do on Facebook now. I like that Alice Cooper song, but it has nothing to do with anything that was going on in my life. What intrigues me more was the dream I had. I guess church was that much a part of my life at the time. A more hilarious dream I had at another time, was when the hymn was "Damned If I Do" by the Alan Parsons Project.