June 6, 1980 - Friday

"And I ride, and I ride,
What can I do? I'm so lonely for you"
Private Lightning "Physical Speed"

That's our song, and the song of the summer of 1980. Last year they were "Victim of Love" and "Cruel To Be Kind". This year, it's "Physical Speed" and "Everything Works If You Let It", so far.
I call up Sue Oliver last night. Her mother said she couldn't talk to me and she told me to call back tonight. I told her to tell Sue I called. She said she would. Sue's got to be wondering what I'm all about now. After all, I know more about her than she knows about me. I was thinking today why I'm so obsessed with her. I don't even know her. I mean, she's probably popular, and for the last couple years at church, she's seemed so close, but so far away. I saw her mowing the lawn last night, but she didn't recognize me. The one thing I'm worried about is other men. A girl so nice looking should have all kinds of guys after her. The second thing I'm worried about, though not as much, is her parents. If they're strict, then I may be in trouble, but I'm a person who looks very nice when you first see me, so maybe I can con them. I'm the Eddie Haskell around here.
I'm kind of scared to call her back, though. She's had a whole day to think up ways to turn me down. ("He wants her-he thinks forget it. Everything works if you let it") That song is my sole inspiration. I believe it's true, and pep talks from Ronnie Perry and Steve helped, too. I think I can do it.
For other news, fuck Elliot. He was all over my case all day long. Right before 2:00 break, I couldn't stand him anymore, so I went upstairs. First Sandy Monday, now him. We had practice after work and he got on me there too. He was in an asshole mood today over something. I wish I'd stayed at Ingell St. today. I was there Tuesday through Thursday.
Hey, I talked to Denise for the first time at least since October 4th. (I don't remember after that, but it's been a long time) I talked to her Wednesday and Thursday. We're just friends, though. I would never go through that again with her. Too fucking much.
I'm going to the No. Raynham ball field. If anything happens tonight, I'll write. We have a game tomorrow night, but fuck that if I have a date with Sue. Just wishful thinking.

I was way too naive to see that the girl was avoiding me like the plague. In retrospect, I understand why I had so many problems getting a girlfriend. I was fat, riddled with acne, insecure, and immature. On the other hand, though I was extremely shy, I was persistent.